A Letter To My Future Daughter-in-law

Please have patience with my son. I know that you see him as a strong man, and he loves showing off for you. This precious little boy was once my everything. My days were consumed with care for him. I watched him run around and play, and I kissed his boo-boos when he was hurt. I trained him to pick up his toys, share, be kind, use the potty and eat his vegetables (the best I could, anyway). There were days when I wanted to ship him off for someone else to deal with, and other days when my heart felt so much love for him I thought it would pop. I watched his little face asleep, and dreamed of who God made him to be. As he got older, I had to give him a little more freedom, let him make some mistakes and fight for him moor on my knees. I wanted him to love God more than anything and make the right decisions in light of that. I still want that- but he is human and a sinner just like we all are.

I'm writing this letter to you because I want you to know a few things:

Woman, are you free?

There is true freedom in Christ. It seems strange or backward, but it is real. You would expect that trying to live up to the high standards of Christ would bring so much restriction and repression, and that it would look unappealing to those looking from the outside, and perhaps it does sometimes. But when I am in the presence of friends who have

No Room for BS

I listen to a mom next to me at gymnastics, as she goes on and on about herself; her kids, her family endeavors, all of the activities her children are involved in, which of her children had acid reflux, which cousins had birthday parties this past month. I'm not even part of the conversation and I know more about this woman in 5 minutes than I know about some of my relatives. Every time one of the other two women in the conversation

The Altar

It happened today. One of those Sundays where you are going about your business, your day, your Sunday routine- sitting in the church pew listening and nodding- not expecting anything for me. Then it started to hit me. The tears welled up hot in my eyes and somehow I knew what was coming next, Was. For. Me. Not only me- but like listen up, girl, I am about to speak to you right from my word. I was laser-focused in as my pastor read the words of Psalm 73, and they washed over me and made sense of my feelings, and my mess.

As humans, we don't have the capacity or the mental ability to order and make sense of all of our feelings and latest struggles. And as moms, sometimes our brains just feel like mush at the end of the day. But lately I've had a very specific struggle with Instagram

Mom of Boys

Oh my heart today. As I sat in that little wooden half-dome in the pay room, and watch T walking around with his "tool", trying to "fix things" for me.

Oh my heart is splattered. This responsibility of being a mom to this boy- all the boys; my heart throbs and I don't want to mess it up. I don't want to go into a numb funk and forget this important focus:

The heart of my boys, my husband included, loves to serve me!

They want to see me smile big and proud and say things like, "Great job!!" and "Thank you SO much!!" and "Wow, you are so strong and so good at that."

I know because as I say those things my two-year-old runs quickly to the next thing to "fix it" as fast as he can. And he says, "I fix for you, Mom." My. Heart.

I know because my oldest son tells me for almost

Keeping Score in Marriage

It can be so hard in marriage to not keep score. They tell you this is one of the keys to a great marriage, but who are we kidding when the skin is on it. Even if you wake up that morning on a level playing field, with no record of wrongs- who is to say what ways you might feel disrespected or taken advantage of even before 7:30am. This morning I opened the refrigerator

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Relief in Submission

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I was just feeling so angry over social media... again. I went on for just a few minutes, the first time in a while. Flitted around. Left feeling more hollow, more angry, more wanting to say MY piece than before. More confused and scattered and these emotions- this devastation for the plight of things, the division. Everyone sticking their finger in the air and shouting their opinion. The leadership- the people that many people are following, flaunting their own feelings and opinions about Christianity, and the President, and the latest disaster, and I can't stomach all of this narcissism. I feel angry and sick all in one stroke. I feel a part of it, wanting to get in the middle and push

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Is it okay?

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I find myself bouncing all over the place lately between things I want to do. This morning, I somehow found myself researching tummy-tucks and mommy-makeovers. Is this a viable option for me? 

Sometimes lately I find myself thinking about traveling far, or making some big investment in a passion project. 

With stereotypes and inhibitions flying out the windows, all of the sudden

Submission to Husband

I am mid getting-this-thing-right. I don't want to even pretend for a second that this is an area where I have arrived. I've not. Just recently, starting a new year and doing a fast of sorts, I am tying to bring this area of my life and marriage to the forefront, and move in the direction God would have me. It's time to start trying to truly be, "to my husband as unto God."

Not that I worship him, blindly heave all of my prayers and desires onto him, and fully surrender my life to him. No- but I submit. I place my abilities and willingness before him as unto the Lord.

This is a hard thing. And very unnatural for a lady like me. I am quite confident in my thoughts, opinions and ability to know what is best- especially when it comes to my children. Many Moms are and this can be a hard rub with husbands. 

But again, it's evident in my own life that it's time for change. It's evident in the way that my oldest son shifts toward me and wants Mom to understand all the deep things and probably take up for him because that's what I've done a lot of. I need to be one with my man.

It's evident in the way that I just came upstairs