Oh my heart today. As I sat in that little wooden half-dome in the play room, and watch T walking around with his "tool", trying to "fix things" for me.
Oh my heart is splattered. This responsibility of being a mom to this boy- all the boys; my heart throbs and I don't want to mess it up. I don't want to go into a numb funk and forget this important focus:
The heart of my boys, my husband included, loves to serve me!
They want to see me smile big and proud and say things like, "Great job!!" and "Thank you SO much!!" and "Wow, you are so strong and so good at that."
I know because as I say those things my two-year-old runs quickly to the next thing to "fix it" as fast as he can. And he says, "I fix for you, Mom." My. Heart.
I know because my oldest son tells me for almost the first five minutes of every car-ride home from school about all of his amazing feats in gym class and recess. How many 3-point shots he made and how he made the winning play for the team. He wants me to know all of his victories and triumphs so I can say: "Wow, great job, buddy." And I know I need to work on it more with this one. How do I encourage his heart in the right ways? Toward good. God, I need your help here and I don't want to forget.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day and my husband has been telling me for 3 days straight that I can go spend $100 at the store, and buy myself a new purse. Everyday he reminds me (as if I would forget:)- and I was almost tempted to get annoyed at him for trying to use the same thing to rack up invisible points (they always want the points, you know). He kept saying the same kind of thing:
"I want you to have a nice bag that you really like. Something nice. Something you will love."
"I got it!!" I wanted to say.
Oh, shame on me. This is a boy, grown into a man with that same heart that just wants to please me. He takes pleasure in serving me and watching my reaction. Oh God, please give me the right reactions and responses! Help me to be good to these precious, precious hearts that you've called me to love and serve. Open my eyes to SEE their intentions and desires. Help me to not be too distracted, but to notice when and what I need to notice. And please, help me to be KIND.