A Letter To My Future Daughter-in-law


Please have patience with my son. I know that you see him as a strong man, and he loves showing off for you. This precious little boy was once my everything. My days were consumed with care for him. I watched him run around and play, and I kissed his boo-boos when he was hurt. I trained him to pick up his toys, share, be kind, use the potty and eat his vegetables (the best I could, anyway). There were days when I wanted to ship him off for someone else to deal with, and other days when my heart felt so much love for him I thought it would pop. I watched his little face asleep, and dreamed of who God made him to be. As he got older, I had to give him a little more freedom, let him make some mistakes and fight for him moor on my knees. I wanted him to love God more than anything and make the right decisions in light of that. I still want that- but he is human and a sinner just like we all are.

I'm writing this letter to you because I want you to know a few things:

1. First off, I realize that you have your own unique story. You were a girl once and loved dearly and tenderly by some special people. And I'm sure you have been hurt as well. Living on this planet seems to do that, and I'm so sorry for whatever unfair, harsh treatment you have suffered at the hands of careless or mean people. I hope to be someone in your life who will love you, affirm you, and help add to your healing and wholeness.

2. I see you as just as valuable a person as my son- and my prayer is to view and love you both as one. God's design is that you ARE one.

3. I will be FOR your marriage. I learned in my own premarital counseling that when there is a problem in your marriage, it is best to seek counsel from godly, trustworthy friends OUTSIDE of your extended family. And for many reasons, I believe that is the best way. But I want you to know that we are here for THE BOTH OF YOU. And when hardships arise, we will do our best to offer sound, Christ-centered advice that is FOR your marriage. God is FOR your marriage and so are we. And we will also do our best to adhere to the boundaries your family puts in place.

4. Put up boundaries. The  beginning of your marriage is a fragile and precious time of getting to know one another, and growing in Christ's love together as one. Keep your heart and ears open and aimed at Jesus. Limit distractions and people who pull you toward what is not good for your heart and marriage, Be patient, loving but firm in your convictions. I will respect your boundaries.

I pray we can grow in patience and love toward one another- and that those same traits will spread throughout our family as it grows. We love you sweet lady, and I'm SO happy you are the one God chose for our son.

All my love always,