It can be so hard in marriage to not keep score. They tell you this is one of the keys to a great marriage, but who are we kidding when the skin is on it. Even if you wake up that morning on a level playing field, with no record of wrongs- who is to say what ways you might feel disrespected or taken advantage of even before 7:30am. This morning I opened the refrigerator
I am mid getting-this-thing-right. I don't want to even pretend for a second that this is an area where I have arrived. I've not. Just recently, starting a new year and doing a fast of sorts, I am tying to bring this area of my life and marriage to the forefront, and move in the direction God would have me. It's time to start trying to truly be, "to my husband as unto God."
Not that I worship him, blindly heave all of my prayers and desires onto him, and fully surrender my life to him. No- but I submit. I place my abilities and willingness before him as unto the Lord.
This is a hard thing. And very unnatural for a lady like me. I am quite confident in my thoughts, opinions and ability to know what is best- especially when it comes to my children. Many Moms are and this can be a hard rub with husbands.
But again, it's evident in my own life that it's time for change. It's evident in the way that my oldest son shifts toward me and wants Mom to understand all the deep things and probably take up for him because that's what I've done a lot of. I need to be one with my man.
It's evident in the way that I just came upstairs