I listen to a mom next to me at gymnastics, as she goes on and on about herself; her kids, her family endeavors, all of the activities her children are involved in, which of her children had acid reflux, which cousins had birthday parties this past month. I'm not even part of the conversation and I know more about this woman in 5 minutes than I know about some of my relatives. Every time one of the other two women in the conversation chimed in with something to share, this woman brought it back around to herself. Truth? I caught onto to this about her the first week of gymnastics when she began a conversation with me. It took all of 30 seconds to realize that her interest was only a listening ear to vent and boast to, and preferably an admiring and sympathetic one. Nope. Not me. Something about having two kids under three right now has pushed me into a zone where I don't have much patience for BS. My time and energy are spread very thin right now, and I refuse to give more away to things that are unimportant or frivolous (even if other people think they are the most important things on earth.)
This is getting me in trouble with some people in my life right now. With many people I have always been the nice, accommodating one. The one who will meet you on your turf, come at least 70% of the way, sometimes even closer to 90. I listen, I sympathize, I figure out how you do things and try to make it easy on you. I'm slipping away from this and I fear I have some people thinking I don't like them anymore. It's not that. I simply don't have time/energy/desire anymore to do and be who I think you want me to be. And I pray that I'm wrong. I pray that you want me to be me.