Mental Health

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Are Your Dreams an Idol?

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Ambitious. Goal-setter. Go-getter. These are all words with a very positive connotation in our culture. Our achieving, writing, dreaming, making, entrepreneurial culture. We have our sights set on it; that goal, that dream, that version of ourself that we want to get to. We'll find the right graphics, make the perfect business card and website, make the right connections. 

I look online for a Christian life-coach and I find some. Ones who will listen to my plans and dreams and help me to get there. To what I want- not what God wants.

What does God want from me? We get scared away from this because of what we don't want to give up. Push and pace and cell phones and starvation. And women who were meant to be full, child-bearing, well-nourished beauties- push and starve themselves hollow of anything rich and good and true, to chase an elusive skinny, successful shadow. A picture on their new website, and how many likes? We can surround ourselves with meaningless noise and make it feel so right.

What are you chasing? What are you running

Instagram Feelings

I want to be better than this post. (I want to be better than a lot of my posts:) But here we are, working our way through our adult lives, hopefully strengthening our bond to the one true rock that keeps us steady.

Here's what I experienced during my brief stint on Instagram.

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When you wish you had more self-discipline

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This is what it feels like to have poor self-discipline: 

You're laying in bed angry, frustrated and wishing you had gotten up earlier. The baby is crying in his room, and you had been doing SO well for 2 weeks straight- getting up to have your quiet time, exercising and sticking to that eating plan. What happened?

It feels like you can't stick to anything longterm.

Why can my husband make a decision, and flip a switch

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Permission to say NO to Everything

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There is a season in life to say "no". When you are in the thick of motherhood with little ones who need your full time and attention, and a house and a husband, and quite possibly a job on top of it all, dear good grief you do not have to go to your second cousin’s gender reveal party. Or your Uncle’s surprise 70th, or your in-law’s barbecue to meet their college roommates. Nothing if you don’t want to. I give you full permission, sweet lady.

A few months back when I was looking up ways to politely decline invitations to things without lying, I came across some helpful hints. But mostly I already knew. I just had to

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When You Want More

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Have you caught it? The discontentment bug that is going around? It is especially infectious for women, mothers, wives.

It starts with a tug on your heart to do some things to better yourself, your life. It pulls you along on an internet search, finding resources and books – honing your mind in on exactly what you need. For me, this week, it started with the scoping out some happiness/goal setting/tracking journals. I've also been thinking about travel. Then, this evening I announced to my husband that I want us to find a babysitter. Someone we could rely on to come watch the littles, so we can do more with the bigs. Do more projects. Be more. Aspire to more. More, more, more. Discontentment. 

Don't I have enough?

Don't you have enough?

Do we even do a good job with what we've been entrusted? My beautiful life right now would look like

Ohh, humility

I wanted to have something to write about. Something revolutionary for women. I wanted to stand on a stage and be cute and fun, and have every woman in the audience want to be like me- and then I would blow their minds and lead them to Jesus.

I was heading on about 5 years of seriously struggling with various aspects of my life- fear, happiness, emotional stability.

Woman, are you free?

There is true freedom in Christ. It seems strange or backward, but it is real. You would expect that trying to live up to the high standards of Christ would bring so much restriction and repression, and that it would look unappealing to those looking from the outside, and perhaps it does sometimes. But when I am in the presence of friends who have

No Room for BS

I listen to a mom next to me at gymnastics, as she goes on and on about herself; her kids, her family endeavors, all of the activities her children are involved in, which of her children had acid reflux, which cousins had birthday parties this past month. I'm not even part of the conversation and I know more about this woman in 5 minutes than I know about some of my relatives. Every time one of the other two women in the conversation

The Altar

It happened today. One of those Sundays where you are going about your business, your day, your Sunday routine- sitting in the church pew listening and nodding- not expecting anything for me. Then it started to hit me. The tears welled up hot in my eyes and somehow I knew what was coming next, Was. For. Me. Not only me- but like listen up, girl, I am about to speak to you right from my word. I was laser-focused in as my pastor read the words of Psalm 73, and they washed over me and made sense of my feelings, and my mess.

As humans, we don't have the capacity or the mental ability to order and make sense of all of our feelings and latest struggles. And as moms, sometimes our brains just feel like mush at the end of the day. But lately I've had a very specific struggle with Instagram

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Relief in Submission

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I was just feeling so angry over social media... again. I went on for just a few minutes, the first time in a while. Flitted around. Left feeling more hollow, more angry, more wanting to say MY piece than before. More confused and scattered and these emotions- this devastation for the plight of things, the division. Everyone sticking their finger in the air and shouting their opinion. The leadership- the people that many people are following, flaunting their own feelings and opinions about Christianity, and the President, and the latest disaster, and I can't stomach all of this narcissism. I feel angry and sick all in one stroke. I feel a part of it, wanting to get in the middle and push