When You Want More


Have you caught it? The discontentment bug that is going around? It is especially infectious for women, mothers, wives.

It starts with a tug on your heart to do some things to better yourself, your life. It pulls you along on an internet search, finding resources and books – honing your mind in on exactly what you need. For me, this week, it started with the scoping out some happiness/goal setting/tracking journals. I've also been thinking about travel. Then, this evening I announced to my husband that I want us to find a babysitter. Someone we could rely on to come watch the littles, so we can do more with the bigs. Do more projects. Be more. Aspire to more. More, more, more. Discontentment. 

Don't I have enough?

Don't you have enough?

Do we even do a good job with what we've been entrusted? My beautiful life right now would look like waking up early and spending time with Jesus. Loving well and speaking to my kids with kindness. Noticing them more. Being present mentally more. And with all that pulls me away from those simple things, do I really want MORE? NO! So why am I so easily strung along to believe that this isn't enough? That I need skinnier, cleaner, more awake, more productive- more?

Where does this bug lead when left untreated?

Look around and you will see. Don't look at Instagram snap shots or the 5-star book reviews. Look into women's eyes, and hearts and homes. The warmth is pulled and stretched thin into striving. And I am grateful that tonight, God brought it to my heart, and let me catch it right here. Let my man lay hands on me and pray for my heart and this spirit of discontentment. Jesus, ground me in you- please. Let me find my way to fullness and completeness in you. 

And then, from that place of wholeness, from that place of overflow (not from the lack)- may you lead me forward as you see fit.