Day 3- We are SO over… for real this time


Today’s Quote: “Often we find ourselves walking in darkness simply because we are not willing to pay the price for having the light.”~ Stormie Omartian


Today’s Song: You're Beautiful~ MercyMe


How many times have you broken up with your #9?


I once heard one of my friends say: “When a girl breaks up with a guy, that’s our way of letting him know that we really mean it, whatever it is we’re mad about that time.”


That’s so pathetic, but it’s so true.


What typically happens after a breakup (where we have no intention of actually staying apart for good) is that we begin to play this sort of game...


  • Who can go the longest without calling the other?

  • Who can seem like the split is not phasing them the most? Or, my personal favorite...

  • How cute and composed can I look, and make him jealous without looking like I’m trying to make him jealous?


The point is that we want to make him think that we’ve got it together without him, and we don’t need him. In fact, we’ve been doing him a favor by being his girlfriend this whole time. Shoot. We’ve got plenty of friends and other stuff to be doing. I mean, hello, we do have career goals after all. And a gym to go to, and LOTS of parties (that you will see pictures of).


But I want to ask you all a question that I started to ask myself in the latter stages of my relationship, after a hundred ups and downs, numerous break ups and make ups, a handful of amazing talks that I was so sure had changed everything…


How the heck long do you want to do this for?


Seriously. Having your heart crushed, put back together, thinking things have changed, only to find that you’re right back at square one. Girlfriend! Could we just admit that this is not working?


And if you don’t break the cycle in a way that is healthy and virtuous, it is only going to get worse and more intense. Uglier and more complex. You’ve seen this. You’ve experienced it.


It’s no way to live.


I don’t know about you but I don’t want to have to worry about what the next heartache will be, or keep wondering if my relationship is really secure or not. It’s freaking exhausting!! And it sucks!


We, ladies, were not built for this kind of inconsistent mess. We were built to be treasures! We know it!


But do you really know it?


Do you really know that a man is supposed to fight for your heart and be willing to lay down his life for you?


Do you know that when you give yourself to a man that he is supposed to treasure that intimacy and cherish your vulnerability to him for the rest of your lives?


Do you know that God has a way for relationships to be and, girl, if you could even taste one drop of what that is like you would not hesitate for a second to lay down anything for that kind of blessing?


Your Maker knows what you need, and He also knows how to Get. The. Job. Done. Hello!


I am getting ahead of myself again. But I’m just trying to give you a contrast to what you’re used to and remind you that there is a whole, big, wide, amazing world outside, filled with blessings and great things for you! But if you are ever going to begin to experience them, you've got to cut the ball and chain, which is all the crap that has attached itself to you in your relationships.


And it is just like that, a ball and chain.


You keep thinking that you’ve got this. You have a good week, or a good talk with someone and you’re sure it changed things. But somehow you still find yourself back in the midst of heartache and struggle, and this time it’s even more hurtful because things were supposed to be different. Anybody?


It’s like you were carrying this huge weight and you finally got to drop it, but when you go to walk away, you find that thing is chained right to your leg.


Girls, aren’t you sick of it?


Today, I want you to just feel sick of it! I want to come alongside of you as a girlfriend who has been there. One who wants to sympathize and speak the truth in love. This just is not the thing! It’s just not.


You want something good. This is not good. Maybe there’s meant to be something healthy there in the future, but it’s certainly not right now. He’s not treating you how he’s supposed to, and you’re not who you want to be.


And if you’re anything like me you have been trying so stinking hard for so stinking long to figure out and figure out and figure out what needs to be done to make this work.  Would you just drop that weight today? God will pick it up with such care.


Yes, healing from this thing is going to take time. But the first step is just being honest about what a wreck this has been, and letting it go.


Release it. Pray for Him to take it. He will.


Today's Dare: Ok, so I realize that it's much easier to say "drop that weight" than it is to actually do that. But what I'm hoping is that you're beginning to get the sense that you are carrying something. Something very heavy that is not yours to carry.

not your weight to carry.png

I want you to look at this picture, and draw some rendition of it in your journal.


I want you to think about all of the break-ups and make-ups you have been through with #9, and how all of those complicated situations have made that weight feel heavier and heavier. Draw all over that box and write some words coming out of it that tell about your story. Your weight.


Now depending on how long you've been carrying that thing, there are probably a variety of problems with your emotions and your spirit. Carrying something much too heavy for much too long makes you out of whack. And you're about to either tip over or buckle underneath the pressure.


Are you getting the picture?


I hope so. Think about these things, write about these things, cry over some of these things. And hang in there until tomorrow when we will really get to the heart of how to DROP THAT WEIGHT!

This completes your sample trial of The Don’t Love Dare.

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