How to Stop Gravitating Toward Losers and Be More Selective in Who You Get Close To

First of all, I realize the title of this article is not very nice.

I’m the kind of person who never says words like “loser”. I’m an equal opportunity employer- rich, poor, fat, skinny, annoying- everyone deserves respect and kindness as far as I’m concerned.

My husband, not so much.

He has a quick radar for all things “loserish”. He was raised in a much more socially-conscious environment than I was. He’s a snob, basically.

But what I admire about his shrewdness is that he never seems to get entangled in unhealthy or draining relationships because he can spot a toxic or needy person a mile away, and will not throw an ounce of his care or energy in their direction.

He shuts it down quickly.

And I’m over here just trying to make everyone feel comfortable and loved. But deep down I’m like…


But all jokes aside, I know that we balance each other out and there are so many ways that God has used me to soften his edges, and him mine.

For me, learning to put up the right boundaries with people has taken some work- but it has been more than worth-while.

Learning how to NOT be drained by toxic, unhealthy or needy people, allows you the space and breathing room to focus on (and do a good job with) what matters.

Here are four amazing resources, depending on your unique situation:

1. I have a toxic boyfriend.

If you are an unmarried woman who has been on an emotional roller-coaster with the same guy for a while- please check out this 40 day journey to healing and freedom!

2. My family-of-origin was broken by divorce.

If you are now a mom and wife but suspect some of your struggles come from your broken family-of-origin, this is a brand new FREE e-email course I just put out. The content is so rich and specific for those of us who came from broken families, you might find you understand certain things about yourself for the very first time!

3. I’m beyond discouraged and angry with my husband.

Enough said. If that’s you- this is a great resource!

4. I need better, healthier friendships

This was a long time struggle of mine. It’s time to create healthy, give-and-take friendships with people who don’t suck the emotional life out of you. Read this.

5. Really, Instagram just makes me feel like a loser

Haha, I’ve been there, girl! Let’s try to help you find some healthy perspective!

I hope these resources will bless you on your journey to finding more balance and boundaries with people!

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Healing Your ♥ When Your Family of Origin was Broken by Divorce


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  • Identify deeply-rooted issues from your broken past

  • Find peace and trust as you allow God to surface these issues

  • Continually walk toward a full healing

  • Flourish in your marriage and home

    Step out of old, ingrained thought-patterns and into the woman you were created to be!